Broken Biscuits No.7.

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BB7 then. Last time we did Hastings, it was Brexit; this time it was Trump. So unsurprisingly, we were given the full might of the elements in return. Horizontal rain and the tail end of a hurricane did their darndest to whip our scrawny arses into submission, but we weren’t having it, no siree; the show had to go on…

Kate Tym, our compere, kicked off the night with this and had us all squirming in our seats. Really, Kate? Really? And just as we were trying to rid ourselves of the mental image of a President Elect’s ginger moobs, The Magic Wizard cast his spell with the finest drone pop since…well, Tiger, actually. Dan Laidler is back, on form and not before time, ably assisted by a couple of blokes he found in Wetherspoons.

David Quantick singlehandedly proved that by changing one word in Bob Dylan’s Wikipedia entry, the entire course of music history as we know it could be seismically altered. In “The Day Bob Dylan Went Disco” we got our Judas moment all funked up; because that’s what he would have wanted.

Idle Eye adhered to the old mantra ‘something old, something new, something borrowed’ etc… There was a bit of quality swearing from his potty-mouthed satnav, samples, spot fx and a rather fetching new teeshirt kindly donated by Magda Archer. Yes, his life is crap; get over it.

To round it all off, Jenny Vegas allowed us a rare glimpse into the rigours of being a consummated professional. Her acting coach, Ophelia Cordelia Bagshaw-Smythe, clearly had her work cut out. Sadly, what happened to Miss Vegas did not stay with Miss Vegas but she soldiers on regardless, bless her…

Windy’s Farm hit the big screen this time. Bloody huge, it was too! Our thanks to The Palace for putting it all on, to everyone who ventured out on the gloomiest of Sundays, and to Brooklyn Lager for aiding and abetting. The last show of the year will be at the wonderful SeaFiSh in Bognor Regis on 15th December, hope to see some of you there. It may or may not have a festive theme, but I’m trying not to think about that just yet. Bah! x

Broken Biscuits No.7.

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Once more unto the breach, people of Hastings! BB7 is coming back atcha, because we love you to bits and you deserve it. This time, we’ll be at the Palace, right bang on the seafront (near the pier) and newly restored to its former splendour. Can’t wait!

We’ll be bringing Jenny Vegas with us (can’t keep her away), with her unique brand of celebrity culture gone a bit wrong, all squeezed into a character you can’t help falling for. Not quite sure how the Bernard Matthews Celebrity Tour of Norfolk is managing without her, but I’m sure we’ll get a letter soon. In blood.

David Quantick‘s back too! And we have it on good authority he’ll be doing a new piece called 20 Joan of Arcs By Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark. Anyone who was lucky enough to catch him last time will know that this is going to be quite something. Do not miss it; seriously.

And as if all this isn’t enough, we’ve managed to pull off something of a coup: The Magic Wizard (aka Dan Laidler) is going to out a few tunes for the first time ever. His work with Tiger in the 90s cemented his status as one of the UK’s most enigmatic singer/songwriters, and now he’s back. Thank the bloody lord, it’s been a long wait.

Yes, you’ll be getting the Windy’s Farm animations as well. And Idle Eye, now that we’ve worked out how to use the desk and put in funny noises. Also, this time we’ll have a proper compere! St Leonards’s very own Kate Tym has kindly agreed to step in and save me from embarrassing myself in public as per. Worth the ticket price alone.

So, all in all not a bad night out. It’ll be great, actually (I know we always say that but it’s true). See you there x

Broken Biscuits No.2.

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In what was one of the more bizarre weekends of our time, we took Broken Biscuits to the coast. Although the sea air was heavy with anger, sadness and confusion, for three hours we tried to provide an antidote. And provide it we did! Hastings Observer Building is a bloody marvellous hangout: creativity oozes from its every pore, so it was perfect for our little variety show. My undying thanks go to David Quantick, Kate Tym and the Ingrid Pitt Orchestra for putting it out there, to Dan Laidler for the first screening of Windy’s Farm, and to John Knowles for allowing it all to happen. And, obviously, to everyone to came. Because without you etc….

Broken Biscuits No.2.

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Upwards and onwards. On Saturday 26th June, the second BB will spring into action at the superb Observer Building in Hastings. And oh my stars, what a line-up! The mighty David Quantick, one of the finest comedy writers in the UK (or anywhere, for that matter), has agreed to do a turn; that bunch of gypsy tramps and thieves Ingrid Pitt Orchestra will chuck up some Transylvanian Glam/Punk/Folk (for easy accordian); St Leonards’ very own performance powerhouse Kate Tym is gonna kick arse because…well, you’ll see, and Idle Eye will try to keep up. And somewhere in all of the above, we’ll be showing three of Dan Laidler‘s magnificently bizarre animated mini-episodes Windy’s Farm.

A night to remember, then. Or, as the New York Times recently described it, “something to do if Game of Thrones isn’t on.” We’ve been advised by the Observer Building that there is a strong possibility it will sell out, so in order to avoid disappointment a link will appear somewhere below this. Use it and relax, safe in the knowledge that you will be a small cog in the history of stuff. Because that’s what you wanted, right?

http://bit.ly/BrokenBiscuitOB