Idle Eye 162 : The Runway

OK, action stations! Everything I’ve worked towards for the last four years is about to kick off big time on Friday. No room for funnies now, just need to know that you’re all on board. It’s been a mad week, what with the computer playing up, the launch party, being sick as a panda and losing my voice just as we were shooting the straight-to-camera stuff, but at last the whole shebang is going to pitch and it’s in the lap of the Gods what happens after.

At this stage of the game you need a bit of TLC, because most of your time is taken up with being wired on adrenalin, not sleeping, eating shit food, drinking shedloads of quality alcohol, smoking for Britain, swearing and crying. Oh, and doing the work. And for the most part, people have been pretty good. I even brought some campaign postcards into my local café yesterday, and the Italian girl who I usually get served by took one look at me and said “Guess it’s started then!” Bless her. The family have finally accepted that I mean business, I’ve got four more followers on the Twitter and some bloke at the party said my stuff was worthy of Ed Reardon. High praise indeed.

But never mind that. What matters more than anything right now is that I reach the funding goal. Although I’ve been trying to imagine what to do if this doesn’t happen. Those bloody letters to the artists, oh God!

Dear Artist,

Thanks for your interest and involvement with the Idle Eye project. I regret to inform you that, to date, it hasn’t received the anticipated volume of public support and consequently I would suggest that you to persevere with your chosen profession as before. This is in no way indicative of the quality of your work. We are living through austere times and there is only so much gold in the pot. Sadly, this time it isn’t yours.

I shall, of course, keep your details on file and if anything suitable arises in the fullness of time, I’ll be in touch. And if you need an assistant, I am but an email away. They say my coffee is excellent and I am quick at washing up.

Sincerely yours,

Idle Eye

Then there would be that climbdown in front of those I’ve bigged it up to for months, followed by the inevitable mockery as I re-entered the world of gainful employment. Fortunately, such a ghastly, apocalyptic projection has been the spur for me to soldier on regardless. Failure is so not an option it’s not even a hologram. And if that elusive target proves to be exactly that, I’ll have a chat with my nine chums of Hatton Garden notoriety and furnish myself with a few tips. Because who would expect a half-cut, wan blogger to be capable of anything more than a few shoddy words of whimsy every week?

Exactly.

Book Update No.7

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500 beautiful postcards printed onto 350gsm uncoated matt card coming tomorrow. All artists involved listed with the posts they have already done and contact details. Again, my sincere thanks to Ursula McLaughlin for making these happen. If we hit our target, the second half goes into production and we’re looking at September for the print run. Everyone who pledges, however much, will be listed in the acknowledgements and will be a part of something quite unique. You know what to do x

Book Update No.6

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A disappointing setback. We shot the remaining footage for the book launch pitch film last week. This was to be edited into my existing film and uploaded to the Kickstarter site so everything was ready to go for the 17th. But my computer had other ideas. Probably because I’ve been cramming it to bursting with film, photos and all manner of power hungry data, the graphics card packed up, rendering it totally unusable. So the last 48 hours have been spent frantically trying to get an appointment with an Apple ‘Genius’, and carting a 27″ iMac across central London until someone would see me. They did yesterday. The card issue is a known one, specific to the exact year, make & model that I have. So it’s a free fix, but I’ve lost a lot of time and I’m on the verge.

Because of all this, I’m putting back the Kickstarter launch date by a week. It will now go live on Friday 24th July for 30 days, and if you’re wondering where you need to go to pledge or even just follow the campaign, all details will appear next week on the site, on the Facebook/Twitter pages and, if I have your details, via email. My apologies for the slight delay, but in this case it’s genuinely out of my hands.

As far as the party is concerned, it will happen as planned at 3 Dorchester Drive, Dorchester Court, Herne Hill, London SE24 from 7.30pm this coming Friday 17th July. If you can make it, please drop by. We’ll film the whole thing and, as long as I’m not sectioned into the Maudsley, it should be a lot of fun. This will be more of a general awareness night as opposed to a book launch per se, but you’ll get to see close up what we’ve been doing since January. All washed down with a few pinots. Nice x

 

Book Update No.5

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Some of you older readers may remember the significance of the above. Taken from the board game Escape From Colditz, the Do or Die card, if you were lucky enough to have one in your hand and reckless enough to use it, gave you an all or nothing bid for freedom. If your dice held true, you could be out within seven rolls. If they did not, you were ‘eliminated’ and removed from the game.

On Friday 17th July, I roll my first dice. Everything I have worked on for nearly four years hangs on the result. Everything. If enough funds are raised for Amateur of Life and Death, it could potentially change my life. If they are not, it’s back to the grindstone. Last night I had a dream (no, not one of those) which told me to run the campaign using the escape cards from the game as markers for the updates. Seven updates, one at the start and then every five days, thirty days in total. So that’s what I’ll do. Never question a dream, just do what it says.

For those of you don’t do the Farcebook/Twitter, there will be a launch party in Herne Hill, London SE24 on Friday 17th July from 7.30pm. There will be readings, played audio and video, a fancy banner, giveaway badges and postcards and, of course, some booze’n’grub. Everyone is welcome. If you fancy popping by, could you let me know as I’ve no idea how many to cater for as of yet. If the funds are raised, I’ll throw another one. Hell, why not?

Finally, and crucially, I’m going to ask a favour of you. If you like what you’ve been reading/listening to here, could you like and share all the posts that come through for the next five weeks? Makes all the difference and it gets the word out to people who don’t yet know. And God knows, I need every last one of you right now. Better still, if you could subscribe (that little button on the right of the main page that says Come on!), again it would be massively helpful.

My apologies for being pushy, but when you play the Do or Die card, there’s no turning back. Them’s the rules x

Kickstarter Promo for Amateur of Life and Death

This is the Kickstarter promo Donald Ross Skinner and I shot and edited in order to raise funds for ‘Amateur of Life and Death’. Life had not yet beaten us into a cocked hat, so there is a charming naive optimism to be seen here. I am happy to report that it was instrumental in raising more than the required amount, and you can still purchase it here in the sidebar for stupid money. Dig deep x

Book Update No.4

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In an uncharacteristic break from black & white, I feel duty-bound to show you one of the pledge shirts that arrived just now. Yes, I look gormless and yes, it’s not quite in focus but you have my word, the quality is top drawer. Fairtrade organic cotton, beautifully reproduced and almost guaranteed to get you admiring looks from complete strangers. Almost…

Book Update No.3

Right. Three quotes in from the printers, time to do do some costings and make a film. Yes, a film. Apparently if you do a straight-to-camera pitch, people feel sorry for you and are more inclined to donate. Like on Facebook when they show you those wounded puppies with pleading eyes. So I’ll have a go at that then.

I didn’t really want to put up any of the artwork just yet, but these spreads are just too good not to give you a quick peak. Illustration here by the disgustingly talented DNA Factory, more to come when the campaign goes live. Looking like 17th July. There will be a launch party in SE London which everyone’s welcome to attend. Message me for cheap flights/hotels/personal peccadillo limitations etc… Or just to find out where it is.

Massive thanks to Ursula McLaughlin for getting these done x

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Book Update No.2

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Just heard back from 3rd Rail clothing who are printing these up for me – Now shipping a bit late due to supply issues. They gave me the option to choose another brand but I’m sold on these babies, great quality, ethical etc… Like me, basically. So I’ll take the hit. Have also decided to use them as shameless bribes to make you pledge something for the book when the campaign goes live, so not for sale as such. More of a chicane.

On that subject & all being well, we’re aiming to kick off in the first week of July. It will run for 35 days, and there will be an escalating series of rewards (some of which are really special) depending on how much is pledged. I’m keeping the target as low as I can manage in the fervent hope that we meet it and the book can go into production. If it falls short, you all get your money back & I go into the Priory. If we go over, I’ll make it a hardback and/or print off more copies. That’s how it works. So forgive me if you start getting grovelling emails/requests to share posts/miscellaneous irritating intrusions into your lives. It won’t be for long and who knows? You might get a lovely shirt to polish the Chippendale with.